Beautiful Decadence

Its back

2011-09-25T23:08:00.000+08:00

Good luck to fighting again

brand new insight

2011-07-05T22:47:00.002+08:00

its not selfishness..its protecting yourself from harm and evil
its loving youself more..just like synthesizing pure chemical products..most are impurities anyway..to be thrown away..throw away what doesn't serve you and what is not needed..even if the product is only one drop..why keep the waste?they are just plain garbage..patronizing is just child's play

bei zi geh dik qing xu

2011-06-13T00:56:00.004+08:00

qing bat you fui sam nei ya wui yau yan dou geh
nei, yang mong dou tai gou bin dai dik zi yau zi geh
bit dong sik tai zou lei you yau tai dor seng dei
nei, gei ju nei fa fu wui yu nei heng juk jun hei
lalala~~~ wai jik zi geh hoi sam dik dong sei yiu jun sam geh hei~
lalala~~~ ngoi huk zi geh si dek seung sik dou dik zhen lei~
seh ze gou guai qing xu~~ yong zi yin zi yu zou ngo dik tin xu~~
zi geh dao bat ngoi zhan me sueng ngoi ? zhan mek hor dek ngoi yan hou qu?
zeh, qin gan zhong qin xu~~ joi ye lan zhong qu yu mun qin dai xu~~
moot yau ta yi kao~ gui kah yar bat bi pit yu~~
pao dak hoi sau lei wun kui~~~ sin dong dak hou hou chun sui~~~
sen guk dao pan kwok hao cheung lei lam chan dou zeh bat gam sam seng sam dik gam gui
aw, how much it relates everything.

2011-06-04T13:40:00.001+08:00

escape route pending..

因为我再也不稀罕。。

！·#￥%

2011-04-30T01:23:00.003+08:00

他妈的这种感觉最好不要现在跟我回来。。
不要纠缠着我！我已经很努力把你甩开你他妈的不要再回来了
不要再烦我了！可恶！

again not doing whats important..but lingering on past thoughts

2011-04-05T18:08:00.002+08:00

flashbacks pls go away..i will thank you very much..its too tiring to bear really..
do i..not have enuff willpower and determination to overcome this?this has seriously been haunting me time and time agn and i wish it can stop..i tried to stop it..but its too distressful..tipping point..if i can have a choice..i would rather not be born..seriously is my past life so viscious that i have to bear so much karma now?

im really tired and i wna hibernate..prolly for weeks..in such a relapse..the best time of the day is when im unconscious

2011-03-26T21:41:00.002+08:00

countless times..im but human..

reminds me of a song

" 变成钢铁的我抵挡无数的箭，就算胜利又怎样？"

rome is not built in one or two days but everytime i build rome, in no time i destroyed it again with my own hands only to find myself building again and rebuilding and building again and rebuilding..when will i stop?im so weary and i hope i can give up and abandon the ruins..let everything fade into the background

The cycle

2011-03-23T16:25:00.002+08:00

It repeats itself and Im completely wordless..
Come unto me and breathe the deadly poison..
More merits accumulation I guess..
Suck more out of me so that I have less karma as time goes by..
Time becomes finite as the spirit is gone and the body stays for punishment

=(

2011-03-18T21:55:00.001+08:00

im sick.

What is permanence?

2011-02-27T20:55:00.003+08:00

Does it only exist as a word?If theres no such thg as permanence in this world..Y is there a word called permanent?And if theres no such thg as permanent why is there such thg as temporary?Just a random thought..
Like flowers..Everythg in life is transient..No matter how beautiful or how much you want them to stay

How i wish i have for myself..One thing which is permanent

~_~

2011-02-17T21:21:00.002+08:00

quitting an addiction is pretty easy actually..especially when u r not focusing on quitting the addiction..it jus goes and poof and den u realise its gone and how have u done it..
maybe thats why..im kickstarting another addiction..not that i want..just that im too tired..i wna find a shortcut and may the withdrawal be of future issues..dun wna care..

2011-01-29T01:53:00.001+08:00

cant believe this feeling.. was so fixated on one decision few hours ago.. and den now.. completely for another.. seems so real

Just came back from rebonding! ^__^

2011-01-22T16:33:00.002+08:00

Went to TaoMoTiam home saloon in hg..near to my old house! saw the kopitiam that i used to go when i was in kindergarten..so nolstagic..im going back for the famous char siew rice there one of these days..im sure its still there coz i smelt it when i walk pass..

I think i found the home saloon that i will go back to today..Its much better than the yishun home saloon and MUCH MUCH better than the sengkang home saloon..

Sengkang: Too many customers came at once..The lady did my hair in a slipshod way and left the cream way too long ( no wonder the split ends and damaged hair after rebond )

Yishun: No wash basin for washing of hair and lead to the chemical some splashed to my face and i had a bad allergic reaction the next day.. And hardselling of hair products

Hougang: By far best..the lady was meticulous and slightly perfectionistic..she actually set an alarm for every cream left on..which is good for optimal absorption and less time wastage..She was even detailed when cutting..lets hope theres not much pillow shape the next day that i wake

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Haven been sleeping well these days only falling asleep ard 5am to 6am..lead to giddiness the following day if i did not sleep til noon..I need sleeping pills!

Nice canto song~Addictive~~

2011-01-22T01:31:00.002+08:00

伤心的总会任性
灰心的总会用气力
将最好的过去将最多的细碎
锁到属于你的眼睛
失恋的不够耐性
失恋的不信是注定
于最黑的世界于最光的刹那
感到属于你的气息
即使很多一起过的
想起的通通你的
为着是浪漫的爱情
通通都可再见
但承诺可再听
什么可不变色
Oh baby
当晚与你记住蒲公英
今晚偏偏想起风的清劲
回忆不再受制于我我承认
回忆也许你的
当晚与你记住流水声
今晚站在大地自己倾听
难道送别你回头总是虔诚
谁能怪我总是太感性
失恋的都有惰性
失恋的都记住约定
当理想的世界当理想的刹那
因爱无分你的我的
即使很多一起过的
想起的通通你的
为着是浪漫的爱情
通通都可再见
但承诺可再听
什么可不变色
Oh baby
当晚与你记住蒲公英
今晚偏偏想起风的清劲
回忆不再受制于我我承认
回忆也许你的
当晚与你记住流水声
今晚站在大地自己倾听
难道送别你回头总是虔诚
谁能怪我总是太感性
当晚与你记住蒲公英
今晚偏偏想起风的清劲
回忆不再受制于我我承认
回忆也许你的
当晚与你记住流水声
今晚站在大地自己倾听
难道送别你回头总是虔诚
谁能怪我总是太感性

How to do two childish things at the same time

2011-01-14T14:44:00.002+08:00

=)

2011-01-13T14:31:00.002+08:00

感觉故事快接近尾声了。。
总觉得结局偏向坏的结局。。
希望我的预感不准

元气快用完了

Virgin facial

2011-01-06T01:46:00.003+08:00

Relaxing and nice atmosphere until I had to do extraction...Dam painful! Only let her do the face area until she reach the nose I cant tahan..So now..My nose is still full of clogged white heads and blackheads..So yucky
But quite worth it..20 bucks for cleansing, exfoliation, extraction, 3 face masks, 2 eye masks, eyebrow trimming, shoulder and back massage and a free collagen face mask..Lucky i never get xianed into signing up any package..Haha

2011-01-03T15:44:00.001+08:00

我好怕。。
又要记起不想记起的事情
接受很想接受但接受不了的现实

hais super sian

2010-12-18T21:26:00.003+08:00

how leh? study halfway.. suddenly think about my old problem.. why should i attempt to do anything or why should i waste my effort to do anythg if my prob is not solved.. ? years to solve it.. yet not solved.. as i read my csm notes i feel the more and more it resembles me.. ahblahahblahblah.. sian ttm i guess i no need to memorise coz i can just describe myself lol.. years of avoidance and time wasted.. i relly dun have the energy to face it.. oh my why am i thinking abt all these when i shud be studying? lol.. i guess i am really going to do ''that'' one day.. not now.. i relly shudnt waste my time and everyone elses really.. i see no point

可不可以

2010-12-01T15:29:00.001+08:00

可不可以给我几天一个没有人的世界
我发现我的烦点真的很低。。

14 more days countdown~

2010-11-30T17:47:00.002+08:00

wow..cant rem why i was so angry on 18th nov??
lol..anyway finals is coming~ jiayoujiayou~~ i v sleepy nowadaes..everytime i find lack of time to study i will become more sleepy.. and its rainy weather now.. think i shud go and sleep =/

i look foward to xmas!!!!!

-

2010-11-18T21:35:00.003+08:00

天没眼没理。。
但是是我的错。。
因为我不能接受这样的不公平。。
有些人说人是应该去接受世界的不公平。。
但是我做不到。。
我觉得这样做。。仿佛成了代罪羔羊。。
明明是天的错。。无端端变成了我的错。。

如果让我主宰。。
我一定会确保公平。。至少如果我做不到。。我也不会让世人有天与地的差异。。我也不会去玩弄人。。
这样弄人。。很好玩吗?很痛快吗?心里很爽吗?
两个字：变态

I like this quote.

2010-11-14T22:37:00.001+08:00

"It's like somebody shot a cannonball right through your stomach, leaving a great big hole. Eventually, it starts to close up from the outside in.. and one day, it'll be different. The load won't feel as heavy. Course, then you'll hear a song or somebody will laugh or the wind will blow the wrong way and the hole will tear wide open again. but believe it or not, it heals back faster after each time."

And I wonder..

2010-11-14T01:39:00.004+08:00

I used to always imagine how its like to be on that end..
But then guess I dont have to do that since I will never know..
And since they will never imagine how its like to be on my end..
And I think its harder to imagine how its like on my end than to imagine how its like on their end

Ytd was a weirdly enlightening day..My being-self was back and I was determined to make it stay for good..And I was confident and happy about it..But today my ego-self was back again..Good riddance..

I love my being-self..Its a very strict parent who disciplines the wilful and fearful ego-self..Making it into deep sleep so that I can have a peaceful day ahead..

Ytd I created a new maple character after the launch of the dual blade..I named it NIRVANA89.. I..For one thing..Have always wanted to reach that state(or at least nearer)..Its like..Going from the extreme of the left to the extreme of the right..Is it possible?Haha..Actually I myself feel it laughable..Very laughable

Recently watching the yi hai hao qing show..Makes me admire gao gu leung's character inside the show very much..She seemed fearless and strong..Wonder if such a person exist in reality?She is so cool Im falling deep in love with her

忍

2010-11-12T11:48:00.000+08:00

忍字是把刀刃狠狠地往心插

Nice shows watched recently

2010-11-07T22:50:00.007+08:00

<<巾幗梟雄之義海豪情>>

Good acting skills and exciting show.. Love gao gu leung's expression~ And the theme song!!

<<3 idiots>>

Never thought of watching a bollywood movie but this one is really worth watching..Depicting University life in India..A funny, intelligent and touching movie. One of the best movie I have watched.

<<完美嫁衣>>

Not supposed to be a comedy..Wrongly classified by PPS..But nevertheless a nice romance movie by lin feng and yang qian hua.

<<拍卖春天>>

Another show wrongly classified as a comedy..The main girl lead is really hot..A quite 凄惨 show at the beginning showing on how people were forced into prostitution .. However it has a happy ending..

Analogy

2010-11-06T13:32:00.002+08:00

I realised something after watching the movie megamind..
The ego-self is just like the villian megamind.. It enjoys it when u fight it.. and by fighting it u identify with it..unconsciously feeding it and making it grow..
Now where has the being-self scramed off to?

眼睛

2010-10-10T21:02:00.002+08:00

她看见羞辱和唾弃
看见人面兽心
看见失望，绝望
坠落谷底，慢慢地爬起
爬起后，看见那小女孩，始终耿耿于怀
一心想帮助她
不论多么艰辛
但是最终看见的是
怜悯的目光
‘对不起，我帮不了你’的眼神
眼看世界越来越模糊
越来越看不见了

2010-09-29T17:02:00.000+08:00

All day Staring at the ceiling Making friends with shadows on my wall All night Hearing voices telling me That I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for something Hold on I'm feeling like I'm headed for a Breakdown I don't know why I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know, right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be Me Talking to myself in public Dodging glances on the train I know I know they've all been talking 'bout me I can hear them whisper And it makes me think there must be something wrong With me Out of all the hours thinking Somehow I've lost my mind I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know, right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be I been talking in my sleep Pretty soon they'll come to get me Yeah, they're taking me away I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know, right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be Hey, how I used to be How I used to be, yeah Well I'm just a little unwell How I used to be How I used to be

无言

2010-09-29T00:53:00.002+08:00

Ytd had the scariest nightmare of aII..I was aIone in the wiId at night with Iong grasses aII over and a thug was chasing me in darkness..Duno why thats the scariest coz I had dreams of strangers dying in front of me consecutiveIy many days yet those din freak me as much as this one..ActuaIIy aII of my dreams Iack detaiI..But then though they Iack detaiI..In actuaI fact they shud be quite short and i shud have more sIeep than dream..But I aIwaes wake up feeIing groggy..Thanks for the noon timetabIe ah..Thats why i can sIp more

I reaIised I stiII cant give up no matter how bad the situation is..AIthough I find me teIIing myseIf repeatedIy ''Thats it, this is the end. Forget abt it'' I aIwaes catch myseIf red-handed trying again..

FinaIIy I feeI it is somehow going to end quite soon..Its either ending with me seeing butterfIies or me seeing stars..I do hope its the former

I dun reIIy care whether anybody understands me coz its probabIy fate that made me this way..The way it coats a thermosetting gIass around me

龙凤店

2010-09-26T22:48:00.003+08:00

Nice comedy starring 大S and Ren Xian Qi.. Unexpected twist in show.. 4/5 starsss

Think I'm addicted to pps nowadays

Sometimes

2010-09-24T01:13:00.001+08:00

I wish there are no humans on earth.. How peaceful will that be?

It will be lonely..But at least much bearable...

I miss haII..

2010-09-17T00:35:00.002+08:00

Why?cause of my dad.. Can't stand him..
When jus come home oni..Jus put down shoe he will adi nag that tdy must early sleep
When jus begin to eat dinner oni he will start to nag that tdy must early bathe..Eat halfway oni come in to nag again that must early bathe..''if not when u old u migraine dem u DIE''
When i eat medicine he will nag..''This medi strong..Dun eat with empty stomach..Or else later u puke blood den u DIE'' (ok I admit that i puke blood before coz i ate medic without food but that was ONCE)
And den when night come..He will nag again ''U better sleep early now ardy 12 plus ( its actually 1130 oni)..If not tml u canot wake up den u DIE(mumble mumble mumble)''
And den when i sit hunched he will say again..''不好这样坐，等下kiao gu丑到要死。''
No wonder my bro always use the headphone and buff out the noise..zzz
I usually just roll my eyes..I noe im v disrespectful..But den if u have nth nice to say can jus DUN say anythg??

-

2010-09-15T17:12:00.000+08:00

生死有命不由命我命由我不由天
生死有命不由命我命由我不由天
生死有命不由命我命由我不由天
生死有命不由命我命由我不由天
生死有命不由命我命由我不由天

Ok registered in my head.

Today~

2010-09-13T21:08:00.003+08:00

Naohiko's lecture was boring..Few words-LONG pause-few words..Wonder is it he thinking how to translate to english or he didn't prepare for the lecture..Someone intentionally/unintentionally gave a loud yawn in the middle of lecture lol..Tdy is v suay..I wore my new white shirt and den someone spilled OJ on me..Now its left with orangey stain..Dots..''Sorry X 3 - Without offering a tissue before rushing off''..My fren said my temper very good..Didn't angry or wad..Actually my mind was preoccupied with sth else..Thats why Im cool with it..

视而不见，听而不闻，醉意绵延无绝期。。
Ha boon sang wai yi fai lok ya bat dor

以德报怨

2010-09-11T16:39:00.002+08:00

Epi 15 of 公主嫁到 is thought-provoking..Will you help a villian who has harmed you in the past..Made you homeless..Accused your mum for adultery..And snatched your rightful ownership of a family business?You are almost the only person who can help and it involves another villian's life..Will you?Thinking about this..I think..I most likely will NOT(But maybe if really in that situation it might change)..I think I might even gloat over the fella's misfortune and deem it as the rightful karma which shud happen..I think 以德报怨, only a saint can do that-

Y or N ?

2010-09-09T00:45:00.004+08:00

Will waking up from this dream be peaceful?Or will it be worse?

Silence is the only noise I like. It will always be.

Omg

2010-09-07T22:42:00.002+08:00

Ytd night, I had a nightmare that my ex-JC bio teacher command me to kneel on nails pivoted at 80 degrees!!Wah the dream was so real..The lab and the surrounding and her lung power were all exact..I was so shocked and thinking '' ARE YOU SERIOUS?! '' ..Hoho in my mind I was thinking to complain to MOE and den i woke-.-phew..Since duno when everyday oso got nightmare..I suddenly got an urge to record down each and every nightmare that I have..Maybe next time I can publish a book..I thought of a title liao ''The gal who dreamt everyday'' and each date will have a new morbid story LOL..Hmm actually everyday got nightmare oso not bad..It means dat I can sleep! Haha

Tdy went to bukit batok to collect the eye creams I bought from mylovelyskin blog..Skincology - Extreme Dark Circle Concentrate and Niu Er - Collagen & Peptides Eye Firming Complex..I hope they work~My previous Himalayas eye cream not only did not work..They gave me millia seeds-.-zz..They gave me a free premium MyBeautyDiary mask but i dun tink i can use it coz of sensitive skin

Im looking for a new hair mask =( my essential hair mask doesn't work..And my old hair mask is too far away @ yishun..Wanted to buy loreal prof series but outside no sell, oni salon sell..super ex.. Sengkang rebonding really sucky.. Do 5 ppl hair tgt.. Nv attend meticulously to one customer..I shudn't have gone on a friday..The previous time I went was much straighter coz less customer..Urgh..I hate it that I have to find a hair straightening lotion when I have already rebonded my hair~~~!

〈〈公主嫁到〉〉

2010-09-05T19:00:00.004+08:00

Watching this canto drama on pps..Damn funny..Awaiting episode 11..Hate waiting for drama to update argh~

2010-08-24T22:22:00.000+08:00

thanks bii =)

2010-08-16T21:04:00.000+08:00

2010-08-14T15:28:00.002+08:00

''There are souls that, crablike, crawl continually toward darkness, going backward in life rather than advancing, using their experience to increase their deformity, growing continually worse, and becoming steeped more and more thoroughly in the intensifying viciousness.''

- Les Miserables

2010-08-13T15:51:00.001+08:00

Myspace Quotes Graphics

~

2010-07-15T01:30:00.002+08:00

how would u advice someone who has fallen for a long time but yet has not reached the ground yet.. and is trying to create a rope while falling to hook onto a nearest platform so as to climb up again..but is clueless on how to create a rope out of nowhere..and so reads books on how to create a rope..seems like a despo effort..what else can the person do in the meantime?time is running short

The Eternity

2010-06-30T13:37:00.002+08:00

Humans are really weird creatures..
We can't forget what we want to forget, yet can't remember what we want to remember
Views distorted have proven irreversible and un-erasable by time
No journey shall be too tulmultuous unless you become god after that
For that I've set a deadline to meet

I do know that they have emotions but i pray hard they don't have a baggage called ''conscience''
Only after the departure of chaos will peace presume and which, combined with the lack of guilt will fulfilment be exacted

桶

2010-06-24T17:13:00.001+08:00

一个桶，九个孔
怎么装也装不满
那个桶，九个孔
怎么都搞不懂。

wheel of fortune~

2010-06-21T22:31:00.002+08:00

Recently real life v bad luck.. But tdy virtually super good luck .. ^_^

scroll a wg wa 6 3 slots .. hunt hi 5 map get anniversary chair .. hunt maple shield get shield ..

earn 12 dollar acash .. though i hope that can convert to real money instead of in game cash item lol

~Crawling in my skin~ =X

2010-06-06T02:19:00.002+08:00

Depersonalization..Not every once in a lifetime experience is pleasant..

Lalalalala~

2010-05-31T01:58:00.002+08:00

Hmmm..I think..When u think u have a big prob to solve u become so focused and concentrated on solving it until u cant realise actually you could do it better if u weren't so focused?Duno how to explain..Anyway i think it relly sux to be one of them..Duno why..I feel like Im receiving bad karma from previous life..Feel like consulting a fortune teller about my past life..But den i never believed in those superstitious things before..Haha..Just a little curious..What if they could tell u sth v accurately?

~~Finding my equanimity~~Wave of calmness..

Quotes from ebook

2010-05-24T21:00:00.000+08:00

''When adversity threatens to paralyze us, we need to reassert control by
finding a new direction in which to invest psychic energy, a direction that
lies outside the reach of external forces. When every aspiration is frustrated,
a person still must seek a meaningful goal around which to organize the
self. Then, even though that person is objectively a slave, subjectively he
is free.''

who?

2010-05-21T02:22:00.001+08:00

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light?

缺乏勇气的舒适。

2010-05-17T16:41:00.002+08:00

会不会见了一次鬼就永远怕黑？
会不会淹了一次水就永远不能游泳？

如果夺走你原来拥有一半的潜力，让你只剩下一半。。你会甘心吗？
如果不甘心，应该怎样？
努力抢回被夺走的事物是必然的，但没有保证，不能强求。。
如果得不回，你会怎样？
最近在梦里有了一些答案，是我内心一直想要的吗？
如果是的话，我有点被震撼到。。

All or nothing

2010-05-14T01:31:00.001+08:00

斩草除根，这是我唯一的机会了

这次我不要在退缩了

Its better to have fought and lost then to not try at all

Trapped

2010-04-29T21:25:00.004+08:00

..in the past and the future

I wanna be the sand thats currently dribbling..

Neither the sand that has sunk nor the sand thats awaiting its descend

Awaiting the light at the end of the tunnel..

Maybe i should continue walking.. Though i cant see the end.. If only the scenery is as breathtaking..

Maybe Im the one whos supposed to make it more pleasant..

=))

2010-04-23T23:45:00.001+08:00

Two papers down..yay! 4 more to gooo..

Cant wait for the 4 months holidaysss

2010-04-16T22:13:00.002+08:00

要不要？=（
完蛋了。。
我不玩了。。

Bout of

2010-04-13T20:49:00.002+08:00

At least theres a place to rant - - - my blog.. anyway its a weird feeling again.. I call it being stably unstable or unstably stable.. Its the feeling of being high on drugs .. but den feeling extremely low.. my mind starts to become indecisive again.. I could have decided this and the next moment i chg my mind..and den.. chg my mind agn and agn.. V tiring.. Guess I could actually not do anythg at the moment..Lacking in attention span..

I wish some blackhole could suck me in someday.. Preferably to a better hell

从前的一天。。

2010-04-08T00:24:00.002+08:00

在还可以记得的某某一天。。
初生的太阳。。满满的期盼。。
一日的宁静以让我很满足。。
让我觉得其实几年的挣扎其实没有白费。。
哪怕只是一天而已。。
其实以乐观的角度看。。宁静是宁静的人无法深入感受的感觉。。
虽然这样。。我还是贪心的希望能有至少有多一点的宁静。。
也许我该任命。。在等待以后会有像几年前的那一天。。
一样的心情。。一样的想法。。
一样欣慰。。
有人说。。失去常人所有。。就应该掌握常人所没有。。我应该掌握的是什么呢？。

y

2010-04-06T17:18:00.001+08:00

y shud u turn on ur switch for max struggling when ur minimum contentment threshold is not there..the sarcastic thing is that the threshold is so low..yet it cannot be reached..im so easily contented yet cant be reached. thank you

Pysch

2010-04-05T21:48:00.002+08:00

Tdy i found out that i could actually control my dream haha.. Been oversleeping and dreaming alot lately.. Dreamt that i was at the entrance of sheng shiong mart (or sth..sound abit familiar) going in to shop for sth when i suddenly think like why i had so much time to shop around.. den i immed woke up realised i overslept for one hour plus..heng nv late for lab submission.. Thx to the bo liao dream

Tdy psych lecture was pretty interesting coz its abt abnormal pysch..Haha..Been waiting for this topic for very long manz..I think among all the mental disorders..Schizophrenia and Bipolar disorder should be the worst..Actually cant really decide which is worse..The true life account of the lecturer's student with bipolar disorder is actually quite touching..How a gal actually struggled with the disorder and yet achieve more than others her age.. I think its actually very admirable if someone with such mental disorder could actually achieve more than others coz due to the disorder they would need to like try tons harder than a normal person.. With the side effects of medication..relapse..psychiatric hospitalization and so on..could imagine how bad it feels..the last sentence of the account was especially tingling.. '' Don't laugh at me because i have bipolar, could u have lasted a day in my shoes? ''

So far..Already got two person tell me i should have chosen psychology major instead..Actually i wanted to.. But due to certain considerations in the past i didn't.. Hais and now is a little too late to decide to minor in it?Haha..Not like its easy to get psych module oso-.- I think the electives i chosen all abit junk..Like abit here and there.. Language ah..pysch ah..chem ah..like no conc in a specific area..Like abit useless to take if like dat

Disappointed

2010-04-04T16:23:00.004+08:00

Im not

2010-03-31T22:04:00.002+08:00

Glad to see a like-minded person
Glad to know that actually someone think along my line
Glad to see that actually nobody could comprehend him too
Im not sadistic.. Im just glad.. To know Im not the only one left on Earth who no one can comprehend.. Not even myself..

Im always deciding too..
I dun think you could bear to

Incongruence

2010-03-30T21:28:00.003+08:00

i wonder, does intelligence come due to mentality.. or does mentality come due to intelligence?
i mean.. is it like because ppl with good mentality are confident of getting good grades thats why the law of attraction holds and they can get what they wan..coz positivity tends to attract positivity..
or is it intelligent ppl have rarely failed and thus they naturally have that good mentality and calm composure?

like the chicken and egg question..which came first?

anyway if i were given a choice to choose one i would gladly choose stupidity and good mentality..

Tired

2010-03-26T00:41:00.002+08:00

To be an alien wearing human skin.. Constantly concealing..
Only i can understand and only i cant
What can i do?Im alwaes the only one left in my bizzarre world..
Seeking reason for it.. Hopefully one day i can be enlightened and become human

An old song ive found which has meaningful lyrics

2010-03-21T16:54:00.001+08:00

请不要灰心你也会有人妒忌
你仰望到太高贬低的只有自己
别荡失太早旅游有太多胜地
你记住你发肤会与你庆祝钻禧
lalala 慰藉自己开心的东西要专心记起
lalala 爱护自己是地上拾到的真理
写这高贵情书欲自言自语助我的天书
自己都不爱怎么相爱
怎么可给爱人好处
这千斤重情书在夜阑尽处如门前大树
没有他倚靠归家也不必结语
请不要哀伤我会当你是偶像
你要别人怜爱请安装一个玉箱
做甚么也好别为着得到赞赏
你要强壮到底再去替对方设想
lalala 慰藉自己开心的东西要专心记起
lalala 爱护自己是地上拾到的真理
写这高贵情书欲自言自语助我的天书
自己都不爱怎么相爱怎么可给爱人好处
这千斤重情书在夜阑尽处如门前大树
没有他倚靠归家也不必结语
lalalala....... lalalala.......
抛得开手里玩具先懂得好好进睡
心窝都关过后从泥泞重到这不甘心相信的金句
写这高贵情书欲自言自语助我的天书
自己都不爱怎么相爱
怎么可给爱人好处
这千斤重情书在夜阑尽处如门前大树
他不可倚靠归家也不必结语
我要给我写这高贵情书欲自言自语助我的天书
自己都不爱怎么相爱
怎么可给爱人好处
凭着我这千斤重情书在夜阑尽处如门前大树
没有他倚靠归家也不必结语

Hate 214!

2010-03-19T01:01:00.003+08:00

Giving up on 214...Worse mod this sem..Im so gonna fail~ ;o

Sians how I wish Im cleverer den I can slack more

Now Im working so hard yet I think cmi.. =( Bad feeling~

Oh no I think nowadaes my blog like so much negative stuffs.. Maybe I shud spam them all down LOL

x3 XDDs

2010-03-02T00:07:00.000+08:00

‘’辛'' 福？

2010-02-16T21:42:00.004+08:00

My mum saes '' 命苦的人这样开心。。为什么应该幸福的人这么辛苦？''

''没人能把谁的幸福没收..看透彻了心就会是晴朗的'' -fish leong

这句话是真的？

艰辛等候二号的离去。。

希望周围的人能明白。。我并不是不珍惜眼前的人。。

沉睡的一号也是时候醒来了吧。。

-

2010-02-15T14:14:00.003+08:00

蹉跎岁月，自甘堕落。。
撑

URGH

2010-02-08T21:27:00.002+08:00

weakest because i cant let go
strongest before i tolerate for almost a decade now..
like jumping a never-ending bungee
the feeling..shell-shocked

ƃuıʇsǝʇ

2010-02-06T22:36:00.004+08:00

Im amazed tdy..Sth i believe greatly in wasn't real..Guess i really like to imagine the worst of ppl at times..Maybe I shud learn how to trust human beings..Coz the ''imaging what will happen'' and the ''what actually happen'' is totally hell aparts..And I almost thought i wouldn't say anythg again because of what i imaged..This is like u form an idea in ur head before the thing actually happen..And den get frustrated evn before confronting such that u don't confront and end up believing in the ideas u had formed..This is jus one of the many thgs which are wrong with me lol

new necklace~

2010-02-04T21:16:00.003+08:00

Bought a necklace frm ntu..The key wasnt exactly nice..Asked if i could replace it with another key ( there were many designs of keys there which was nicer) but then i liked the tag and the french words HAHA..

la memoire: je me souviens de vous

the memory: i remember you

ahh..i feel once again the dark energy is trying to pull me to them .. helpless?

hmm

2010-02-02T17:14:00.004+08:00

有的人要看见了才可以相信。。
有的人没看见都可以相信。。
有的人看到了还是不相信。。
我属于第三类吧。。

I think i wun sui bian show ppl my vulnerable side..Because i feel that most imptly..Evn me feel that what Im thinking is super ridiculous..Would anyone be able to understand fully when i cant evn comprehend the origin of such thoughts?Secondly..I dun wna be a liability / emotionally reliable person.. Supressing is still the best

Ytd wen to psychology class..I think its the only elective this sem im interested in..Hais..Lh told me I shud have chosen psychology major..LOL..Since Im so interested in it..But den i can nv get some of the mods coz its too popular liao..The prof talked abt an interesting case where a person initials H.M. who kept having seizures was recommended to go for a brain operation to remove his hippocampus(for experimental sake too).. H.M. agreed coz he also thought that since his life is so screwed by the seizures he had..Might as well try the brain operation and he agreed on it..
So after removing the hippocampus H.M. had lost the ability to remember new things..Meaning that he could oni retent old memories and for new memories he could oni remember for 30 seconds.. I think its quite scary in a way as in evry 30 seconds the psychologist went to survey him he would thought its a new encounter as he could oni remember for 30 seconds..Wonder if he himself knew the impact of the surgery..I doubt so

I was thinking how good it would be if i were in the 1960s where medical ethics was not relly so advanced.. Maybe I could let them remove some part of my brain thats affecting me..I dun mind losing some other functions..But den..Dun tk away my hippocampus ba HAHA..I oso wonder how they remove part of the brain?do they drill in and suck or ??Cut the skull and glue back?

DORAEM♥N

2010-01-20T21:58:00.003+08:00

Tdy went to SAC with lh coz heard frm her theres arcade machine there and the kiapper is quite strong! And den heard theres doraemon there..So went there to try my luck..Butbut tried 7 times..The tender was so kind kip helping us to reposition the doraemon so that its more easier..But den i had two try that actually i kiap tio but den it fall on the way while the kiapper translate to the hole..So sianed..Den the tender finally put the doraemon super near the hole for me to catch and i got it~~~~~~~Den lh..Super pro at kiapping..Got hers in her fifth attempt..Mine was 7th attempt with MUCH help LOL..Wasted 7 dollars..Hmm but den the XDD was quite big and v cute ♥♥I like..

Woo sweet..二号and sleepie..So cute..Abit feel like going back there to kiap one more..But den waste money..I want the DOMOKUN too..But look like hard kiap coz it so squarish..I better not spend more money..

♥♥月亮和星星♥♥

2010-01-19T00:12:00.002+08:00

Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ 160110 Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

ヘ(^_^ヘ)(ノ^_^)ノ这一天外星找到了宇宙bubu的司机。。总算可以回到火球。。
希望司机可以适应火球的热度。。(･_･ ) ( ･_･)

啦啦啦~

｢(ﾟﾍﾟ) 下次再见。

Outings

2009-12-18T20:57:00.003+08:00

Ytd
Went ECP cycling with zw.. Kept raining and stopping..Luckily after a heavy downpour finally yu guo tian qing.. Den went to see the sunset but den it didnt set HAHA..Den went to eat my tomyam agn

Tdy
Went watch twilight 2: New moon with CL..I think its better thn twilight 1 but den still a little draggy..Okok la..Coz got abit of element of suprise..Den after dat saw a place spraying out foam-like snow and went to play..After dat went to eat ice cream in jap sweet gelato.. Quite okay price for the thgs since got no svc charge or gst..Although we got to self service to fill in form to give to counter

Waiting for tomyam steamboat HAHA.

Hais i tot im mature enough not to let those things affect me agn.

♥♥Random

2009-12-17T00:01:00.004+08:00

Tdy went to NTU esp to add course. In the end lag 1 min and din manage to get some impt course haha.. Den after that wen shopping with lh and kt.. Bought shorts and a maumau bag.. Since my current bag already half torn.. I carry evrythg inside de..Im quite broke now la

Tdy maple wedding hehe

Meteor

2009-12-13T11:59:00.003+08:00

First time saw meteors in my life haha..though small and not alot at least I saw it..Though i missed the big one that everyone saw..My direction no good haha

Anyway..Some pictures taken ytd..A little xmas mood leh..Feel like buying the cat masquerade(is that how to spell)

Haha like so blurry..Oh wells

.

2009-12-10T12:16:00.002+08:00

Disappointment..Sigh..Not like its a new thing afterall..Is it any wonder i dun believe in good things?I think I dun even have zero incentive to be here..Its already negative..If life is a human..I will tell him..Go ahead..Do what u wan..Im training to be emotionless..Good luck and try harder next time

Recent happenings

2009-12-08T01:32:00.005+08:00

Watching xia yi zhan , xing fu~~~~

Organised my earrings into a box..Easier to search for them now..

Wen somerset 313 with mum on weekend..Nicer to shop thn ION or orchard central..Evryone grabbing at Uniqlo.. Actually that brand really so nice meh? Hmm mostly is winter things and plain tee/ tank tops leh..

Wen to jb city square to shopshop with lh and kt.. The kbox there is quite good.. Coz got three mikes hahaha and big tv.. Got the feel.. The shen mu yu tong song.. Sing until evryone oso zao sia.. Pei fu Huang Mei Zhen vocals..But sing for three hours oni left 1 hour plus for shopping.. Got some buys though..

The manga there is quite cheap leh.. Oni 5RM per book..Too bad im not a fan haha..Lh say wan to go there restock her manga next time.. I think since johor is so near..Evn much nearer thn I travel frm sk to ntu.. Shopping in johor is not bad idea bah..In all spent below 100RM leh.. I tot my dad dun like me spend money.. So i din buy much.. But come back.. He ask me why leave so much money O.o *scratch head* Should have bought more lo.. Since I alwaes self sponsor if i shop in sg..Tdy hor.. I realised i cant evn speak basic hokkien..-.- coz custom got one peh peh ask us to help him fill in white form.. Im supposed to be the only one hu supposed to noe hokkien in end i duno how translate HAHA..

The punisher

2009-11-28T16:35:00.006+08:00

Ever tried this? Telling ur mind what to think.. Draw out a logical map for urself to see and link it down seeing what are the consequences.. Telling ur mind which is the best way.. Trying to tell ur mind to think that way.. But.But.But. No way.. No way my own brain will heed what I tell it to think.. It is obstinate and has a mind of its own.. Although it sounds weird how the mind can have a mind of its own.. But for me no matter how I teach my brain to think.. It has its own will and prefer to think in its haywired mentality..I guess once sth has been damaged it will be beyond repair bah.. Maybe subconscious thoughts can never be removed and replaced..Jus trying to ''file the documents and arrange'' them properly inside.. But den forget it..

Ok I jus let it be.. It do what it wants to do with me.. I wonder how do I learn one lesson and den unlearn it?I seem to have a knack for it..

I think this song is quite descriptive of how i feel bah

It keeps coming back to me
I remember this pain
It spreads across my eyes
Everything is dull
Everyone's smiling, they're smiling
It pushes me far far away
I can't understand
Everything is blue
Can you hear me out there?
* Will you hold me now
Hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now
Hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone
Can you wake me
I know when I let it in
It hides love from this moment
So I guard it close
I watch the moves it makes
But it gets me, but it gets me
I wish I could understand how I
Could make it disappear, make it disappear
Anyone out there hear me now?
Will you hold me now
Hold me now
My frozen heart
Kiss my lips and maybe you can take me to your world for now
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now
Hold me now
My frozen heart
Please make it all go away
Am I ever gonna feel myself again?I hope I will

Tdy's tarot
The Sun Reversed Clouds may be obscuring truth. Not as bright as things could be, but not dark either. A mitigating of circumstances. Possible sadness. Burn out from a job or relationship. Time to sit this one out until bright sun returns. Positive energies dampened, but not completely gone. Focus on good still at hand until time passes. Confusion and concealment. Truth is still there, but may be hidden. A slower than expected recovery from illness. Relationship in some trouble but still salvageable.

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHH. . . . . . . . .

2009-11-25T00:55:00.003+08:00

When it comes back im at lost of what to do also.. What can i say.. Jus hope it will switch back soon.. Or else i will be in for it another time.. I wonder how to maintain mood 1?
Sigh sigh sigh.. Guess its another long period of draining out myself again.. I dun understand how it suddenly can change like jus in a day? Not even a day.. Like in a few hours? Sigh .. I duno what gibberish im typing here but i just feel the need to type sth down to prevent thoughts frm accelerating
Stop obsessing.

Bah.

Urk.

................................
................................
I think I need to sleep and tml i will wake up..It will resume back my mood..
VIRTUOUS CYCLE PLS!! ~_~

=)

2009-11-20T01:05:00.006+08:00

so happy after the econs test .. 1 down 4 more to go~~ jy sharshar

lh：你们不会觉得学校这么暗，看起来很恐怖。。
kt：对咯，尤其是今天。。。
me：AHHH~*plop* *slide and fell on butt*
like so sudden-.- 2nd time i fell in sch
blame it on my low friction flat shoe and the wet floor and the slope.urgh

最好不要想。。空想，妄想，奢想，乱想。。统统丢掉，这样最好。

Jus started training my Aran char..so cute^^

Tarot agn

2009-11-16T23:40:00.001+08:00

Evrytime i feel sth bugging mei look at my tarot and there it is..It relly tell me what im feeling

Death Reversed

Transformation held back or delayed. Inability to let go of something or someone. Change averted. A continuation of the status quo. Old energy keeps things stagnant for a while longer. Relationship or job remains unchanged. Stuck. Desire to keep things the way they are at cost of new possibilities. Intimidated by future influences. Timidity. Not the time to trust your own feelings. Something else will be revealed. Wait for it.

2012

2009-11-13T22:13:00.002+08:00

Went to watch 2012 with zw tdy..nicest movie so far hee..can totally take away my attention since i got very low attention span..Especially like the part where the russian lady stuck her middle finger at the petty guy before she enter the ship 'illegally' while the guy hu had the official ticket didn't have the chance to..And like the part where the crazy peh peh who wasn't afraid of death was broadcasting at a high point of the volcanic zone..The way he got blasted by the lava was hilarious..The animation he made about nibiru was just as funny..Actually i wonder if jackson and his ex-wife would have reunited if the ex wife's lover (forgot his name) did not get crushed to death..If it was jackson hu died..Would the ex-wife still be tgt with the new lover?I think so too..So its like matter of hu dies-.-Overall a thrilling movie

Hope that we will not be able to see such a dramatic change happening to earth in our lifetime..When i first read about nibiru in 2008 i was quite doubtful it will happen but den feel a lil excitement..Sounds abit sadistic here..I feel excited bcz i might be able to witness such a big and dramatic change on earth..But after i watch the movie seeing the destruction and fatalities and tragedies i think its like far from excitement..Like more of devastation..Anyway seeing more and more natural disasters happening at such a fast rate i wonder whether nibiru is really true..But den if the scientists and the important authority figures have already found out that nibiru will be sure to come they would not have allowed the broadcasting of the movie right?Weird..Just hope that there is no news of two suns being spotted by 2010..Else i will relly start preparing..Hmm..Maybe more of like mental preparation..

Its going down~

2009-11-07T01:04:00.005+08:00

Just like the econs business cycle..Just that my frequency is much more often..I dun uds me either..Its either too cheerful or too down in the dumps..Sometimes warm sometimes icy cold..I feel insecure sometimes..Like i canot predict whats my next mood..

Nth stays constant..This is both good and bad..Bad thgs dun last..But neither do good thgs..

Happiness can be as simple as this flowchart:

The difficult part lies in the change/ the momentum

If u have been forgone a need long enough..Would u accept it if u were given it?I bet some would already have adapted to not need it anymore and become aloof towards it. But if i were given it, although i have long adapt to not needing it..I will still feel melancholic as it reminds me of how much i wanted it in the past but not being able to have it. Thus, to avoid that feeling of melancholy..I would choose not to have it..Irony?Wanting but not accepting

Given time rewinds..Do u think u could change anythg?I used to think i could have changed alot of things..But on second thoughts..If u could change..U could alwaes have started by changing the current..But then..It might be the lack of engine to start..Or rather even if u start..There wouldn't be any momentum to continue..

We are not like plasticines..Can mould into any shape that is so called ''beneficial'' or ''good'' for us..Maybe we just got to see the perfection in imperfections?

Explosions

2009-10-30T18:58:00.002+08:00

Tdy caused two mini explosions in lab.. One is due to my carelessness..Another is due to my lack of common sense HAHA..the first one it said add carefully..I initially really add super slowly and den since got alot solution i was impatient and pour all in..In the end volcano eruption HAHA lost some yield..Jus when i tot evrythg was okay..Another explosion happened..When recrystallising the vanadium thgy..Raised the temp too high and den POP POP POP my product shoot evrywhr..Yield loss agn..Gotten back my lab reports tdy..Was v cui..Write too detailed oso minus mark.. Write less detailed oso minus mark..Explain yield loss is due to solid stuck in rbf oso minus mark..Marker commented Buchner is supposed to get high yield..-.- wow u relly think ur buchner v good..Some of them the suction so weak..and evn the weighing scale number fluctuates all the time..Urgh..Nvm since evryone oso got deducted quite alot..Hope my yeast mixture is ok the next week..

un-intelligence~

2009-10-27T20:05:00.003+08:00

Dun wana use the stu_ _ _ word here haha.. had my 931 and 213 test tdy.. 931 is quite easy.. but 213 is chui chui chui.. i guess after i total up the things i got correct.. i oni get 1X / 50.. I dun think i can even get a 2X out of it.. And i realised one thing.. The 30 mark qns's topic is frm e learning!! I nv even notice theres an e-learning on sulphur! Darn.. Thats part of how i failed..Ok..So darn depressed after the paper..Actually i think what kt said is very true.. Retrosynthesis study so much is not much use..Must have the talent to apply..Or else no matter how hard u stare u can nv get it..Yeah im just super untalented..I stared and stared and stared and den did some ''lame workings'' Its sth like already at lost of what to do den jus cook up sth=.=..After dat when to eat ramen with kt and lh.. The tomyam is not bad HAHA.. Ordered seafood tomyam without eating seafood-.- .. Wanted try the kiddy meal..It looks so cute!But its for 12 age and below..Lh commented that if i dun tok and tie two ponytail at the side..I can actually disguise as young as 13 years old!Is that true?I din noe i relly look so YOUNG..Haha..Den after that we walked ard whole of JP.. Looking at shoes..Bling blings..And experimented with cosmetics..Tried mascara..Eww dun like the hard and sticky feel..Ahh i relly tempted to buy some stuffs but no money sia..Thinking of finding a very part time de part time during the holidays..Hmm my mood is better after the long window shopping..Think no matter how un-intelligent im i must strive hard for finals~esp 213..dun wna fail it -.- ..

''轻轻旋转著夏天地面闷热的晚风
平凡或特别，笨拙或聪明相同
他从不担心自己被世界折磨
甜蜜的负荷是他最大依托''

青峰啊青峰，真欣赏你的态度。。简单又知足。。

你还是那么可爱呵呵。。

..

2009-10-18T16:24:00.003+08:00

days like these
dark and dreary
evoked a past menacing ambition

wondering if the first major emotion that u felt after u stepped into this world
doesn't it form and fix a perception into place?
and the further it prolonged, the more fixated the perception is
and then u wonder what is real
is the perception haywired or u chose to believe in it
is perception even a choice or are u compelled to perceive in that way
fortunately or unfortunately, what u believe becomes what exists
and what exists further reinforces ur belief in its existence
in other words
what u believe in might not be true
the mind tricks yet the mind defines us
even though a strong perception might dwindle into nothingness
circumstances might trigger it back
and that is ur innate
what u have never had
is what u never will have
because u made it so
and u made it so unconsciously

.

2009-10-14T22:24:00.002+08:00

'' Actually i dont mind if u all copy each other .. Im jus concerned that some students may complain and then we might need to retake test and i have to reset the paper''
'' The paper is 1 hour and 30 minutes, i think most of you can finish in 30 minutes''
Haha the style is super Li Tian hu
Good that paper is easy but uhm..The bell curve might be alot to the right..Sure alot ppl get 100 marks-.-

Try?

2009-10-12T21:56:00.003+08:00

Is there anything that doesnt require trying..?
every frigging little things need trying

maybe oni i need to try..that must be it..i understand

looks like for some ppl..things jus fall from the sky..literally..i mean..it just fall from the sky

think i really need go build a spaceship to fly somewhere that i belong to

End of recess

2009-10-09T00:04:00.004+08:00

First food lab which succeeded..Hahah..Waiting for dan's PERFECT lab report
Sunsilk shampoo seems to make the hair blacker..And my hair mask is starting to lose effect..Or rather my hair has grown immunity over my current hair mask..Think its time to invest on a new brand of hair mask..
Recently this nice nice song keep repeating in my head wherever i go~ David Craig's you don't miss your water..Some song i dig up frm the past..Haha..Loved this song very much last time

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2009-10-03T17:06:00.002+08:00

Ok i really think the daily tarot in fb is scarily accurate..I tot jus play it for fun oni..It knows my strong deviation from one day to another-.-

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2009-09-30T01:25:00.002+08:00

每当有点快乐的滋味，那恶魔似乎快被唤醒。是我想象力太丰富？还是我太恐惧恐惧？还是，真的有这回事？平衡点，我正在寻找。。我行的。只要不太。。。

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2009-09-27T22:57:00.002+08:00

Things i did during the weekends:

=> Completed D.I.E 2

=> Watched 比悲伤更悲伤的故事。

=> Dl-ed many old songs frm sec sch times

=> And i just realised i lost my fumehood key! Dun noe how to explain tml..Omg..-.-..Looks like i no need skip make up econ lect tml..Since i be going sch to explain HAIS

Darkness and light coexists

2009-09-24T20:33:00.004+08:00

Now that it is back in full blown again, shud i be happy that i have a chance to confront it?The thing i have ran away frm half a decade ago..Yeah..Confronted before but i failed and den i hibernated..Hid it in some corner of my brain but gets leaked out somehow..Im not going to run away anymore..Its not easy to overcome..But what is?It takes some effort..And some enlightenment..Im determined now..Coz i wna see a rebirth in my lifetime..I wan no.1 back..Im sure im not myself yet..Since i have so much courage to force..I can divert all this courage to confronting..What can be the worse that happen?I picture it..I accept it..If i can accept the worse..I can confront it..
In the process of growing light..Since light cant be found..U have to grow it within u

Daily tarot:The Eight of Wands Stability has been regained and it is time to move forward with renewed interest and passion. You are almost at the end, do not lose focus now. Dig in and see it through. This is the right path and you are doing the right thing. Stability and Growth continuing. A possible speeding up of energy. Others cheering you on in support of your goals.

Movie~

2009-09-22T21:07:00.002+08:00

Tdy wen for 213 test..Was easier than expected just that my product like abit weird weird geh..I think shud be able to pass bah..Phew..Now actually look back 113 notes actually found it easy wo..Last year had such a hard time with 113..Den after that wen with zw to watch Time traveller's wife..Got there 10min late..Luckily still can buy the tix..Jus that we missed some parts in front..I really night blindness sia..Can't see in the dark..The cinema oni few ppl nia haha..I think the show is not bad..Quite touching..Reminds me of Hiro's skill in HEROES..Speaking of which..I stopped at season three last sem and discontinued watching..Feel like watching back now

Smelling.. ..

2009-09-17T20:22:00.003+08:00

Tdy's food chem lab is all about smelling..Smelling all the amino acid..I find my lab partner super compulsive..Want to measure to 0.0001 accuracy alwaes..End up evryone take 30 min to measure..We actually took like 2 hours -.-.. No wonder we alwaes canot finish the expt in time and have to ask others for results..Tdy a labmate ask me y i alwaes dun smile..Actually i already hear this qns many time..Im oso baffled myself..Maybe different ppl have different state of nature..Most ppl nature state is smile..So of course is natural for them to smile..Dun have to put in any effort to smile at all ma..Coz is their nature state..My nature state is emotionless..So of coz i dun smile lo..Y must I pretend to smile?Its not my natural state to smile..In fact when I smile the muscle feel so tense..Y pretend to be who u are not right?Makes no sense..Oh yeah..After learning food chem..I feel abit gross when Im eating snacks and sweets that i enjoy in the past coz i tend to think those flavours are the chemicals that they synthesize in the lab..Eww..Maybe on second thoughts I shouldn't go into the food industry next time..Sometimes ignorant is bliss..U dun know the food made of what still can enjoy..

I wan to wake up one day..And find the light..Does it happen?Will it happen?Can it can it?Can it come to me if i dun go find it?Does it?

2009-09-15T22:51:00.000+08:00

the effect of defying homeostasis..LOL

Mockingbird

2009-09-13T16:55:00.000+08:00

I suddenly rem this part of lyrics frm an old song..

We're all we got in this world
When it spins, when it swirls
When it whirls, when it twirls

But then of course everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be
But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is
But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep
Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream